Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Once and For All

I'm used to vent out what I felt here in my blog but then something happened and I stop writing. I just want my blog to be a happy place, not a place that I can easily let my emotions read by strangers. But as time goes by, it kills me, silently. 

After 5 freaking years struggling with engineering, look where I end up now. 
Carreer-wise, I'm nowhere. 
After countless of rejection, I just want to give up. Seriously.

Seeing almost all my friends, I don't think I'm close to where they are now. Just like a friend said, happy to see them succeed but deep down, we are sad. My self esteem hits rock bottom. I do envy people around me that their lives just 'in place' where everything is perfect. For me, life is just so unfair.

" It's all about 'rezeki' " - that's what mum says that always get me going. I believe whenever Allah close a door for you, another door open. Alhamdulillah, I have a super parent, great but annoying-siblings. :)

Yesterday afternoon, I saw a disable man (OKU) having a hard time with his 4-wheeler motorcycle. It was raining quite heavily. And surprise-surprise, no one help him!. Sedih sangat dengan badan kecik tu tolak motor yang berat, tapi disebabkan nak bagi laluan untuk kereta, dengan kudrat yang tak seberapa tu dia tolak jugak. I almost shed some tears when I saw the man drenched in rain. See, how can I say I'm not lucky?. Ungrateful? Yes, I am. 

I have a healthy body. I have nice car that can covers me from sun and rain. I have a loving family. I have a house. I have friends. I have a good education. Material-wise, I have everything. Tolak designer goods, duit berkepuk-kepuk je. What else can I ask for?
Now, I know how hard it is to earn some money. I rarely use the money for myself. To see people that I love smiling from ear to ear is such a satisfaction. InsyaAllah, everything will be better. 

p/s : A friend once said to me maybe I need to consider mandi bunga to get rid of bad  lucks. Haha hillarious!

11 comments:

safura said...

hurmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm+_+

nAdiEy said...

sedih!

tiey said...

safura: speechless ke ape ni? :p

nad: sedih part mana? aku ? oku man?

nAdiEy said...

duo2 lah...haha, tapi hok part oku tu sero nok nangis aku.....

tiey said...

aku siap nangis lg dale keto...sedih sgt..ni pon siap terbayang2 lg :(

Liza said...

i am not good at giving advise...just to share that Allah will not test those who are not strong enough to take it. Insyallah, your time will come and you will get what you wished for..Amin...

tiey said...

sis liza : thank you sis, appreciate the advice. kinda need it. :)

The Spasmodic Scribbler said...

God says YES and He gives you what you want
God says NO and He gives you something better
God says WAIT and He gives you the best in His own time

I have always had that since I was 16, given to me by my mother. The words had helped me to go through the worst time of my life and I hope you will find them soothing, as much as I found them. Even now :)

tiey said...

thanks nawar.. :)
bila difikirkan balik, my problem is nothing compare to other people.

eamy said...

tiey!
are u in Paka now?
Because I tracked down using my sitemeter
and..tada! it was u..i was wondering
what the hell are u doing in Paka
anyhow, miss u so much dude!
raya aritu xdan nk jupo mung :)
take care

tiey said...

Paka? hahah jauhnyo..

hr tu mmg plan nk g rumah mg pn tp ma aku gedik2 nk buat open house. hancus plan nk beronggeng..